


tu m'as manqué

by mercibeaucul



Series: dorks in love [6]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anal Sex, Coming Untouched, First Time Topping, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Inexperienced Victor Nikiforov, M/M, Oral Sex, Post-Rostelecom Cup, Sappy, Showers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 00:26:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13399506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercibeaucul/pseuds/mercibeaucul
Summary: This fic is set the morning after the airport scene in Episode 9. <3 Yuuri realizes he's going to marry Victor and cries a little, then he asks Victor to fuck him for the first time. :) They're big saps.





	tu m'as manqué

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still not sure I'm happy with this, but I'm posting it anyway. 
> 
> Anyway, I keep thinking about the airport scene and how it's one of the most romantic things to ever happen. It's definitely in the top 3, and the other 2 are: YOI Episode 10 & Victuuri pair skate. Anyway, I think that moment is when Yuuri decides that yes, he's gonna marry Victor, because even though I think he's pretty certain in his decision to retire at that point, he doesn't want it to end even when Victor is no longer his coach. 
> 
> Also, the title is super corny and I hate that tumblr meme for kind of ruining this, but "tu m'as manqué" basically means "you were missing from me" and it's sweet, so there.

Yuuri has been homesick before. He’s missed his home, his dog, his family, and his friends desperately. He knows what it’s like to be alone in a strange country, and he knows what _longing_ feels like. But even in the five years he was away from Hasetsu, he had never felt it so intensely as when he was separated from Victor in Moscow; it was like a part of him was missing. He found some comfort in Yuri Plisetsky, who had been surprisingly sweet when he brought him katsudon pirozhki for his birthday. It had felt like a little piece of home in Russia, and the gesture had warmed his heart. And yet, he couldn’t ignore the aching sense of absence he felt.

When Yuuri saw Victor at the airport, it was as if everything was falling back into place; he felt whole again. Yuuri asked Victor to coach him until he retires, but his reply had surprised him. “It’s almost like a marriage proposal,” he had said. And then, _“I wish you’d never retire”_. The implication was crystal clear, and the thought of it is overwhelming. But out of everything that’s happened in recent months, it’s the thing that makes the most sense. He can’t even stand the thought of spending more than a few days without Victor. He knows now that whatever happens in his career, he wants to be with him for the rest of his life.

Victor pulls him closer and nuzzles his cheek against his hair. Yuuri is still hazy with sleep, but he’s aware of Victor’s warmth surrounding him, and he can hear his steady heartbeat where his cheek is pressed against his chest. His lips curl as he realizes they’re in the same position as they were when they fell asleep. Victor has always been endearingly clingy, but it seems to have intensified since he picked him up at the airport. On the train ride home, Victor was snuggled right up against him with his arm wrapped around his waist. He stroked Yuuri’s hair and held his hand while Makkachin laid across their laps. Yuuri hadn’t slept well while he was in Moscow, and he hadn’t been able to sleep on the plane either. On the train, Victor let Yuuri doze against his shoulder and had only looked at him fondly when he woke up with a wet patch of drool on Victor’s coat.

Victor’s fingers trail up and down Yuuri’s back, sending a light shiver through him. He kisses Victor’s chest in response. “Awake, my sleeping beauty?”

“Mm, sort of. What time is it?” Yuuri mumbles.

“Still early. You can go back to sleep.” He kisses his temple softly. “I’m sure you haven’t slept much.”

Instead, Yuuri rolls them so that he’s lying on top of Victor.

“Yuuri,” he says with surprise before he’s being kissed softly. “Mm—I haven’t brushed my teeth,” he protests. Yuuri ignores him and places soft, slow kisses against his cheeks, under his jaw, on his throat. “Ah, _Yuuri_.” Yuuri nips playfully at his neck before rolling over and sitting up.

“ _Yuuri,_ ” Victor pouts. “Such a tease.” He reaches out and runs his hand through his hair.

He laughs and then wrinkles his nose. “I feel gross. I want to shower. And then,” he pauses to kiss Victor on his forehead. “Then I’ll come back and kiss you some more. I promise.”

Victor frowns and wraps his arms around him once more. “I don’t mind, Yuuri. You can be gross. Just don’t go anywhere.”

“ _Vitya_.” He pokes him in the ribs. But Victor is holding tight, and he doesn’t seem to want to let him go. Yuuri doesn’t really want to leave his embrace either; he feels and smells so nice. But he really does need a shower, so he says, “Come shower with me”.

“Mm.” Victor squeezes him tightly. “Naked Yuuri? I like that,” he winks.

They don’t stop touching each other in the shower. They’re lazily washing each other’s hair while pressed against each other, and Yuuri starts to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Victor mumbles.

“Us,” he chuckles. “We’re ridiculous, Vitya.”

“Hmph. Speak for yourself,” he says petulantly before playfully biting at Yuuri’s shoulder. He smiles against his skin and murmurs, “I’m so glad that you’re home, Yuuri. I hated waking up without you.”

Yuuri pulls back a bit so he can look him in the eyes. “Me too, Victor.” He doesn’t want to let go, but suddenly he also really, really wants to get Victor back into bed. He moves them under the water so they can rinse their hair before reaching for the body wash and cloth. Then he soaps up Victor’s skin, kissing him along the way and relishing each little gasp and sigh.

When he’s finished, Victor returns the favour. His caresses are slow and tender in a way that makes Yuuri’s heart flutter. It’s when Victor is on his knees and carefully washing his feet that Yuuri realizes it; Victor touches him like he is something precious. It’s not that he treats him delicately, or like he’s fragile—but with devotion. He feels a surge of warmth welling up in his chest, and before he knows it, hot tears are falling down his face. For a moment, he thinks Victor might not notice because of the shower, but then a sob escapes his lips. He covers his mouth, but it’s too late.

“Yuuri?” He looks up at him with worry in his eyes. He stands and then wipes Yuuri’s tears away, sliding his hands across his cheeks. Under the stream of water, it seems pointless; but the gesture is tender and so sweet Yuuri could melt. “My Yuuri,” he whispers. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” he says with a shaky laugh. “I’ve just had like 4 hours of sleep in the last two days.” He kisses Victor. “Everything is perfect. You’re perfect.”

Victor smiles and presses his forehead against Yuuri’s. “I’m far from perfect, Yurochka.”

“To me you are.” He kisses him hard. He’s suddenly overcome with the need to be impossibly and absurdly close to Victor, wants sink into his skin. He wraps his arms around him and clings tightly. Victor strokes his hair, murmuring Russian into his ear. Yuuri can’t understand much of it, but he hears _solnyshko, lyublyu, lapochka,_ and he knows they’re words of tenderness and full of love.

“Victor,” he whispers. “Take me to bed.”

Victor dries them both with a towel, and then he insists on brushing his teeth. “I want to kiss you without morning breath, Yuuri.” Victor holds Yuuri in front of him with his free arm around his waist while they brush their teeth, and Yuuri holds onto Victor’s arm tightly. He feels like he’s being unreasonably clingy, sticking to Victor like he’s afraid he might disappear; but he can’t help it—touching him is grounding him right now. Victor smiles in the mirror and kisses the top of his head. “We look cute, Yuuri,” he chuckles. Yuuri’s heart swells.

Victor leads Yuuri out of the bathroom and to the bed. He turns to walk away, but Yuuri grabs his arm. “Where are you going?” He hates the slight tone of desperation he can hear in his own voice.

“Nowhere, Yurochka. I was just going to get you some pajamas.” He cocks his head in confusion. “You said you wanted to go to bed.”

He shakes his head. “No, Victor. I said _take me to bed_.” He lets his towel drop, and Victor’s breath catches.

“ _Oh_.”

Yuuri pulls Victor by the towel hanging at his waist and kisses him fiercely. “I _need_ you, Vitya.” He slides the towel off Victor’s hips and grips his cock. “Touch me.”

Victor lets out a soft moan and moves in closer. “ _Yuuri._ ” He takes Yuuri’s cock in his hand. They kiss each other hungrily while stroking each other off, and it feels good, but it’s not enough. Yuuri is desperate for so much more.

He lets himself fall back onto the bed and pulls Victor on top of him, groaning when he grinds their cocks together. His hands scrabble desperately against Victor’s back. “Victor,” he moans, “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too, Yuuri.” He kisses Yuuri’s neck, trails his lips along his jaw, licks and nibbles just below his ear.

Yuuri shivers at the touch. He loves Victor so much, loves every facial expression, every sound he makes, every fantastic notion he ever has, every touch he lays to Yuuri’s skin. He’s touching him all over, and Yuuri is touching back with fervour, heart pounding hard and fast. Yuuri had hated the empty feeling he’d had at Victor’s absence, and now all he wants is to absorb Victor, wants them to live inside each other so they’re never separated again. He’s vaguely aware that his desperation is both irrational and impossible—but he can’t bring himself to care right now.

Victor makes his way down Yuuri’s torso, kissing and licking at his muscled abs, tongue dipping into his bellybutton, teeth nipping at his hipbones. He holds tightly onto Yuuri’s hips as he mouths at his balls and licks a stripe up his hard cock. He moans at the familiar taste and looks up at him. “God, Yuuri. I couldn’t stop thinking about this the whole time we were apart. I even missed the way you _taste_.” Yuuri lets out a shaky breath and tugs his hair, pulling him back to his cock. Victor moans and takes him in his mouth as far as he can go, sucking greedily.   

Yuuri is trembling and saying affectionate but dirty things in Japanese about how much he loves Victor and his hot wet mouth, and he knows he’s being louder than he should be, but Victor feels so amazing, feels like _home._ He never wants it to end, but his orgasm is approaching quickly. “Victor, _Vitya,_ I’m going to come.”

Victor just hums as he takes him in further and swallows everything Yuuri gives him. When he pulls off Yuuri’s softening cock and smiles up at him, his face and neck are flushed pink. Victor can be a very animated person, and when he’s excited or passionate about something he tends to speak with his whole body; it’s part of what makes his skating so amazing to watch. Yuuri loves knowing that he even blushes with his whole body—loves knowing that no one will ever see it but him. This part of Victor is just for Yuuri.

He reaches for Victor so that he can kiss him. He can taste himself on his lips, and it sends a rush of electricity through his body. He wants his essence to be on Victor always, and to have Victor’s on him. He slides his mouth down his jaw and then sucks a hickey into his neck, marking him. He wants Victor to do the same. “Mark me, Victor. I’m yours. I want everyone to see.” He gasps loudly as Victor sucks and bites hard at his shoulder. He rakes his nails against Victor’s scalp and down his nape. Victor’s erection is pressed into him, so he cants his hips, making him moan.

“ _Yuuri_ ,” he groans against his skin.

“ _Vitya._ ” He reaches down and palms Victor’s hard cock as he sucks another hickey into his skin. “Vitya, will you fuck me?” he moans.

Victor stops suddenly. “W-what?”

“Will you? You don’t—I mean, you don’t have to. It’s just,” he grinds his hips against Victor’s, “I can’t stop thinking about you being inside me,” he says. “I _missed_ you so much. It was like a part of me was gone. I just want to be close to you. I want you to fill me up.” He blushes even as the words leave his mouth.

“Wow, Yuuri.” He kisses him sweetly. “I want to, it’s just—well, we’ve never done that before. I thought you would want to—I mean that you would um,” Victor’s blush has reached his chest, and it seems impossible, but Yuuri loves him even more.

He smiles and cups his cheek. “Vitya, you don’t have to be so nervous. You’re amazing. Everything is amazing with you. But if you’re not ready—well, however, and whenever you’re ready is okay with me.” And even though he feels so desperate for it, wants Victor inside him, wants Victor to have him in every sense of the word, he means it. He doesn’t want him to feel pressured or uncomfortable.

“Yuuri,” he presses his face into his neck and kisses his throat. “Is this really what you want?”

“So much, Vitya. But not if you don’t want it too.”

Victor does want it—he wants it very much. And he’s nervous, but now that it’s on the table, he finds that he can’t imagine having anything else right now. He also knows Yuuri wants it badly, and he wants nothing more than to please him. Just thinking about it makes his cock throb. “ _Oh, Yuuri._ Will you tell me what to do, or if you’re uncomfortable?”

Yuuri’s heart quickens in anticipation. “Yes.” He finds the lubricant in the nightstand and presses it into Victor’s palm. “Open me up, Vitya,” he says, and he hears all the air escape from Victor’s lungs at once.

He kisses Yuuri, licking into his mouth and moaning softly against his lips. “I love you so much.” He traces his tongue down his neck and then sucks at his nipples. Desperate and needy noises are spilling from his lips, and Victor mutters something about skating a program to the music of Yuuri.

Yuuri can’t help but laugh fondly. “You’re crazy,” he whispers. Yuuri watches as Victor slicks his fingers and nods when he looks up at him, asking for permission. He lets out a shaky breath as Victor’s finger traces his hole and then starts to push in. He’s done this by himself and with others before Victor, but it’s never felt so good. It’s so _intimate,_ the way Victor is feeling him from the inside, so intense that it’s _almost_ satisfying. Victor slides a second finger in, and Yuuri inhales sharply at the pleasurable stretch.

“Okay?” he asks, and Yuuri nods. They haven’t done this together before, but Victor has explored his own body this way, and he finds Yuuri’s prostate with ease. Yuuri throws his head back as he curls his fingers and strokes over the spot.

“ _Fuck,_ just like that, Vitya.” He keeps his hand gripped in Victor’s hair and slings his other arm over his face.

“Let me see you, Yuuri. Please, I want to see you,” he begs, sounding just as desperate as Yuuri feels.

Yuuri lets his arm drop and looks at Victor. He has a sheen of sweat over his body, his telltale flush of pink on his cheeks and neck, and Yuuri can see that he’s trembling. He relaxes his hand and strokes his hair gently. “Okay, Vitya?”

He lets out a shaky sigh and smiles softly. “ _Yes,_ Yuuri. I’m good, so good.” He kisses his chest while working his fingers into Yuuri until he’s shaking out breathy gasps and moans.

“Vitya, please—I _need you_. I’m ready.” He wants it so badly, he thinks more than he’s ever wanted anything, except maybe to skate with Victor.

Yuuri whimpers when he removes his fingers. Victor reaches over to the open nightstand for a condom, but Yuuri shakes his head and bats his hand away. “No, Vitya. We’re both clean, and I don’t care about the mess. I want you to come inside me.”

Victor moans and bites at Yuuri’s jaw. “Oh fuck _, Yuuri_.” He presses his forehead against Yuuri’s and lets out a shaky sigh. “How do you want it, Yurochka?”

“Just like this. I want to see you,” he says, running a hand through Victor’s damp hair.

Victor slicks himself with the lube and then lifts one of Yuuri’s legs over his shoulder, pressing a kiss to the inside of his knee. “Is this okay?” he murmurs.

Yuuri nods and reaches out to stroke Victor’s cheek. His breath stutters as Victor presses his tip against his hole. “Vitya, please. Please fuck me. Make me yours. I need it, need you in me,” he begs as he wraps his free leg around Victor’s waist and pulls him closer.

“My Yuuri is so impatient,” he says. But then he starts pushing inside, and he keens at the sensation. Yuuri is so hot and tight, and the feeling is more intense than he expected. “ _Yuuri._ ”

Yuuri gasps and digs his fingers into Victor’s shoulders as he pushes in slowly. When he bottoms out, Yuuri let’s out a breathy moan, a sense of relief washing over him. He holds Victor tightly. He almost doesn’t want him to move, wants to stay like this—but arousal is overtaking his need to simply feel Victor inside him. “Vitya,” he gasps out and kisses his sweaty forehead. “You can move.”

He starts thrusting slowly, trying not to let the feeling of Yuuri’s tight heat overwhelm him. He wants to last, wants it to be good for Yuuri. “You—Yuuri, you feel so good. I don’t know if I can last,” he groans.

“Don’t care,” he says. “Just needed you, needed to feel you like this. Fuck me, Vitya. Come inside me. Make me yours.” Victor lets out an obscenely loud moan and bites at Yuuri’s neck. He starts thrusting in earnest, fucking into him hard and fast. Victor’s whole body is flushed and sweaty. _He looks so beautiful,_ Yuuri thinks. He lifts his other leg and puts it over Victor’s shoulder, crying out at the increased sensation the new angle brings. “Oh, fuck, Vitya. It’s so good, don’t stop,” he begs. Victor’s weight pressing into him, the fingers digging into his hips, the feeling of Victor’s cock pounding into him—it all feels so fucking good; Yuuri thinks this is better than anything, better than a clean skate, better than any medal he could ever win. He wants to feel like this forever.

Then he _remembers_. _It’s almost like a marriage proposal._ He remembers, and he’s coming untouched, even before Victor spills into him, and Yuuri is vaguely embarrassed at his sudden lack of stamina, but he can’t really bring himself to care—not when Victor is fucking him like this, when he loves Yuuri as much as he does. Not when he knows Victor is the man he will marry, and that he’ll have this, _have Victor_ , for the rest of his life.

Victor gasps at the feeling of Yuuri’s hot release between their bellies. “ _Yuuri,_ ” he moans.  

“Vitya,” he cries hoarsely. “Do you see what you do to me?” Victor’s thrusting is becoming more jerky and urgent as he nears his own climax. Yuuri is oversensitive, but he’s gripping him tightly and moaning, “ _Don’t stop, fuck me, I love you”._ He wants Victor to finish inside him.

“Come for me, Vitya,” he tells him. “Come inside me.” He does, and Yuuri moans loudly and scratches his nails down Victor’s back as he feels his release pulsing inside of him. Victor cries out and buries his face in Yuuri’s neck.

“ _Yuuri, Yuuri._ You’re amazing, wow, my Yuuri,” Victor murmurs.

He strokes Victor’s hair and back tenderly as they come down from their high. “I love you so much, Vitya. I want this, want _you,_ always,” he whispers.

Victor kisses his jaw. “You have me, Yuuri. Always.” When he’s caught his breath, he pulls out, and Yuuri makes a sound that sounds almost like despair. Victor kisses his face all over and strokes his hair with both hands. “Yuuri, Yuuri. Are you alright? Did I hurt you?”

Yuuri can’t help the tears that fall. He’s physically spent and emotionally raw. “I’m fine, Vitya,” he says with a shaky voice. But Victor looks terrified, like he did that day in the parking garage, and Yuuri hates it. He tries to steady his breathing. “I just—I love you, so much. You were so good for me, it was amazing,” he chokes on a sob. “I’m just so, so tired, and it’s so much. It’s good, though, I promise.” He turns and kisses Victor’s palm. “It’s just a lot.” He’s babbling, but he hopes Victor understands, hopes he knows he hasn’t done anything wrong, and he’s not upset—just overwhelmingly tired and in love.

Victor’s eyes brighten, and he smiles softly at him. “It is a lot, Yuuri. I love you too. So much.” He kisses his tears away and rolls onto his side so that he can pull him close and trace soothing patterns onto his back. They’re both sticky, but they’ll clean up later. “You’ve hardly slept since Moscow,” he says. “You should get some rest now.” He buries his nose in Yuuri’s hair and presses a kiss to his forehead.

“I’m sorry, Vitya,” Yuuri says.

“Sorry? For what, _solnyshko_? You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I should be taking care of you. That was your first time.” He looks up at Victor, panic suddenly gripping him. “Are you okay?”

Victor kisses his doubts away. “ _Yuuri._ We take care of each other. Of course I’m okay. I’m so happy,” he says with a reassuring squeeze. “It was amazing, Yuuri.” He hums against his temple and says excitedly, “But wow, Yuuri. I can’t wait to do that again. Maybe you could fuck me next time, though. It sounded like a lot of fun.” Victor lets out a dreamy sigh. “I can’t _wait_ to be ravished by you.”

Yuuri groans. “ _Vitya_. You’re going to kill me. How do you always do that?”

“Do what?” he asks.

“It’s just, the things you say. I can’t even believe you’re real most days, and then you go and say things like that. I’m pretty sure I’m actually just stuck in a perpetual daydream,” he groans.

“I hope not. It would be awful for me if you woke up. I don’t want to go back to a life without Yuuri,” he tells him.

He probably intends for it to sound playful, but he says it with such sincerity that Yuuri’s hit with another wave of emotion. His body is thrumming with happiness, and his heart feels so full. “Me neither,” he whispers. “I don’t want a life without you.”

“Mm.” Victor kisses him softly before they both drift back to sleep, locked in a tight embrace.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really into the idea of Yuuri crying during, before, or after sex because I've seen a lot of fics that characterize him as like weepy and fragile, and I am strongly opposed to that; BUT I made an exception because in this fic he's A. exhausted from lack of sleep, and B. overwhelmed by GOOD emotions like being in love with Victor and realizing he's going to ask him to marry him!! And Victor would probably definitely say yes?? Holy shit. Doki doki!


End file.
